Hilarious! We Rank Milos From 1-10

Join us as we go on this totally unnecessary journey of ranking the different applications of the word Milo. We found a stack of these on the disambiguation Wikipedia page. If any has any even moderately interesting article ideas please reach out.

1. MILO THE DRINK – This OG protein shake changed the lives of the 8 year olds of the Brett Lee fast bowling fandom. Nesquik absorption might have been 25% superior to Milo, but it lacked the essential malt crunch.

Some delicious Milo
2. MILO CEREAL – Step aside Coco Pops/Nutri Grain/The Vegan Breakfast Burrito at Serotonin Eatery in Burnley accompanied by an Oh-So-Melbourne Soy Flat White.

Pretty much regular Milo pressed into little pellets

3. MILO MUESLI BAR – Here’s the thing about Uncle Toby’s. They THINK that they’re on the top of their game but their muesli bars taste like Yarra water and smell like a bus after a load of Year 9 Xavier Boys have departed for their after school private English literature tutoring sessions. It’s nothing but empty carbs and false promises. Try to maintain a single bout of tennis on Wii-sports with nothing in the tank but a fucking Toby’s. You’d be out on straight sets and your younger cousin from Central Victoria with unreliable water pressure would never let you forget it.

Pretty much Milo cereal pressed into little bars
4. MILO CRICKET – Milo T20 Blast is a super fun, social, safe cricket program for boys and girls aged seven to 12. The program is much shorter than traditional cricket, with a maximum of 90 minutes playing time. All the equipment is supplied and the games take place at the same venue each week, at a local cricket club or community centre. We got this from the website. Righteous bit of a hit with the boys.
Look at those happy kids. Good on 'em

5. TITUS ANNIUS MILO – a Roman Senator and murderer or something! How cool is that. He was exiled or something and had a nice time with some wine in Marseille. Sometimes these things are informative. Sometimes you leave knowing more than when you came. Just something to think about.

I didn't know about this guy until we went on the Wikipedia page

6. MYLO XYLOTO BY COLDPLAY – Pre-Jennifer Lawrence Chris Martin somehow managed to scrape an Etihad Venue for this generic half-assed piece of crap. The album credited with making the song “the Scientist” cool again somehow makes it to number 6 on this countdown list. We were not paid anything at all to advertise this but would be open to negotiations.

Nothing on Parachutes

7. PROFESSOR MILO ENEMY OF BATMAN – Comic books are cool again right guys? Haha. Everyone saw Wonder Woman and stuff? Sure Ben Affleck is a bit of a creepazoid but Christian Bale’s Batman is still cool right? Right?

wtf is that bowl cut

8. THAT DOG YOU MET ONCE CALLED MILO – If you don’t remember him then you suffered a medium to severe head injury at some point in your life. Please seek emergency medical assistance immediately. Thanks!

Fear Him

9. MILO SKI SCHOOL – A foundational yet traumatising experience for those who had the opportunity to visit the snow with their family and don the green bib. Milo Ski School Old Boy and current Executive Director of Foxtrot Media had this to say: “We are a proud alumni who have the skills to hit any slope and definitely did not cry under our ski goggles when our parents left.”

I cried a lot

10. MILO YIANNOPOLOUS – Haha what a dickhead.

Look at this wanker

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