Labor Left Hack Puts Aside Factional Drama, Places $30 on Kristina Keneally

Veronicah Bologna, proud contender for Women’s Room committee and NUS rep 2016/2017, has today placed aside her long-held rivalry with the right wing of the Labor party to put $30 of the money she earned at her Christmas Casual gig at Kikki K Chadstone on Bennelong hopeful Kristina Keneally. The move came as a shock to many of the friends she’d made throughout her years as a stu-pol hopeful, who found the move to be a disquieting moment of support for the “sell outs”  of progressive unionist politics.

“She’s $2.34 on sportsbet,” Bologna attempted to fend of accusations of disloyalty with the Salamander earlier today. “I mean, c’mon. What would you do? I heard some liberals bet big money on One Nation in Queensland recently. Surely that’s worse?”

When we asked her whether she was confident in a win, she just laughed knowingly. “You’ll see tonight, guys.”

One of her friends, Daisy Minkle, who privately worries she might idolise Bill Shorten a bit too much, has reached out to the Salamander to denounce Bologna’s actions.

“Veronicah (Bologna) has no real dedication to the cause,” she wrote to us via Facebook messenger. “She can’t seem to decide what side she’s on. She’s done what we consider a bit of a Mark Latham. I don’t think she realises how this migt [sic] hurt her career.”

While Bologna feels her friend is an “ego-centric wanker” with “little to no fuckin clue” who Veronicah “actually is on the inside”, she doesn’t dismiss her worries.

“Sure, I might lose out on preselection once or twice,” she said. “But that isn’t where the money is. The money’s on Kristina, today, Bennelong,”

The most recent poll has Keneally’s Liberal opponent, John Alexander, set to reclaim his seat by a slim margin.

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