President and spokesperson for the Swanston Street Tram Appreciation Society Miriam Jones has today strongly denied rumours that she only started the club to leech off UMSU funding and take her friends down to the local student bar for a free “piss up” every couple of weeks.
“Here at the SSTAS we take allegations like this seriously,” she told the Salamander on her way to her 10AM B-Law lecture his morning. “Yeah we drink and stuff, but like, come on. We’re drinking for the tram! And at these events we talk about the trams or whatever. How sick are trams, hey.”
Unconvinced, the Salamander reached out to the ex-Treasurer Liam Stone, who had suspiciously filed his resignation with the club’s Secretary only 3 months after the SSTAS Inaugural General Meeting.
“Oh yeah,” he laughed. “I’d forgotten about that. Nah, I just couldn’t be fucked. Why? Has something happened?”
The new club boasts 23 active paying members, 10 of which can be relied upon to attend the SSTAS’s “events” and bother to sign the green sheet. A source who does not wish to be named confided in the Salamander that the President had encouraged them to sign up to get “free watery beer from Shaw” and that an interest in the Swanston Street Tram was by no means compulsory, or even really encouraged.
Furthermore, an unnamed first year tram enthusiast who signed up at the club’s first O’Week stand was bitterly disappointed to find out no one actually cared that much about the Swanston Street Tram.
“I finally thought I’d found my people,” the nerd told the Salamander. “The first time I mentioned my enthusiasm for the Club’s raison d’être it took a few attempts before they took me seriously. Apparently all they know about the tram is how to get on the right one that takes you past uni and drops you off at the Clyde.”
More as it develops.