Fledgeling second year architecture major and very-part-time Year 11 Methods tutor Ben Bitumen has proved his critics wrong by successfully allocating all of his mandatory attendance tutorials and workshops into the same two days, the Salamander has heard.
“It’s all about preparation,” he boasted after his rousing success. “I had my laptop open at 9:55 and I’d logged in on my sister’s iPad just in case. Not to mention I’d already had my morning coffee!” the underachiever laughed.
Astoundingly, Bitumen claims that he managed to pull a last minute switch from a 9AM tutorial to an 11AM tutorial, so as to be studying with a girl he may or may not (definitely doesn’t) have a “thing” with.
“So she messages me just as enrolment starts and she tells me she’s in the 11AM! And I’m freaking out! So I try to switch and it buffers for like 30 seconds, but I reckon I got the last spot. Everyone knows the 11AM slots are prime real estate and on a Tuesday? If that doesn’t prove the existence of God, nothing will.”
The apparent “Catholic” and B-Comm dropout advised anyone wishing to push all their subjects together to also avoid degrees that have too many contact hours.
“I mean, a science degree would be nice and all,” he says. “But God, at what cost?”
More as it develops.