Young Liberal “Ready and Raring” To Play Devil’s Advocate Again Next Week

High-school debating runner-up and Treasurer of the University of Melbourne Young Liberals, Lachlan Worthington has today confirmed to the Salamander that his recurring role as a deliberate antagonist during his Monday 4:15 Australian Politics tutorial would again be on display for all interested parties at the same time next week. Despite his internal struggle to reconcile the Irish quarter of his heritage with his “deep infatuation” of the British homeland, Worthington proudly announced that he “just can’t wait to stir the pot a bit” and to “show them the sorta talent Trinity Grammar can produce.”

“This week it was foreign aid issues,” he chuckled to the Salamander. “The trots thought they had me cornered. Didn’t realise I was playing devil’s advocate the whole time. You know, I could almost feel sorry for them being stuck in such a low intelligence bracket if they all weren’t such a load of cucks.”

Worthington has also expressed that he “loves fucking with the Stalinist inbreds” he’s “forced to deal with” in all his other tutorials as well, but that there’s nothing quite like “the satisfaction of smacking down the stuck up Di Natale sheep” who populate his AusPol Tutorials.

“No, I never miss a tutorial,” he smiled at us. “Not once! I even cancelled my plans with my friends to go yell “Vote TRUMP!” off the top of the Arts West stairwell to make sure I didn’t miss out on the Women in Politics week. Couldn’t let that week fly by without dropping the ‘Maggie-bomb’.”

Worthington, whose ringtone is unironically “God Save the Queen”, has reportedly scored a H3 on his first assignment, but plans on turning it all around with the 60% he has left to fill for the semester.

 

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