Third Round Offer Recipient Just “Stoked” to Be Here

George Marley, incoming B-Sci student (just), is genuinely just very, very happy to be here, a recent questionnaire conducted by the Salamander has found. Marley, who scraped into his course with an ATAR 2 points lower than the 2017 “clearly in” mark, has enjoyed his first day of O'Week in the same cloud of disbelief as Steve Bradbury after his success in the 2002 Winter Games.

“I’m just having a ball,” he told us, climbing off the bus from O’Week camp, relishing in the ego rush of a thousand “Monash is a second preference university” jokes. “Really just doing all I can to make the most of the experience.”

Marley also swore to us that his last-minute acceptance letter had nothing at all to do with his dad being an “old golfing buddy” of the Vice-Provost, and also nothing at all to do with an “anonymous” six figure donation made in the dying days of January.

“I don’t even know why you would bring that up,” he laughed hesitantly. “I don’t... They only play golf sometimes I just... What is this? Haha.”

More as it comes.

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