Greens on Campus AGM Postponed Due to Astrological Retrograde

Incumbent Secretary of the Greens on Campus political club Rachael Bloomingdale has today apologised to its 120 members for rescheduling the upcoming AGM due to a “disturbance in the cosmos, beyond our control”.

“We apologise sincerely and unreservedly,” the post, which was uploaded last night onto the club’s official Facebook page, read. “I’m sure those of you familiar with the workings of the cosmos understand that operating under such turbulent decisions throws not only our little Green family into troubled waters, but threatens the very spirit of the movement itself. Namaste”

The post, which was also shared by the official Facebook page for Senator Janet Rice, reached a record 14 likes and 3 comments.

There has been no official word on the date of the rescheduled AGM, but key astrologists tell the Salamander that anyone with half a brain would pick March the 14th; shortly after the full moon, with Saturn’s transit harmonising with Mars. “Duh.”

Whilst Rachel Bloomingdale was unavailable for comment, current boyfriend and Bikram yoga instructor Lyle Willowtree confirmed to the Salamander that the new date for the AGM would be announced shortly, and that it would be picked with far more discretion in the future in order to avoid the embarrassing ignorance and irreverence for the cosmic powers in play.

More as it comes.

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