Proud Ormondian Samuel Grape has today had a bit of a nasty encounter with Mother Nature as his Year-12-Graduation-Akubra was nearly pushed off his head by a particularly strong southerly. Whilst walking from down the notorious wind tunnel underneath Raymond Priestley, the young agrarian conservative was forced to fling his hands to his head to prevent the hat’s escape.
“It uh, look, it uh would...it woulda been a bit more embarrassing to be forced to run after the thing,” he told us after the incident, still shaken. “But uh, yeah, look. Not ideal. Not ideal at all.”
Grape says that while the hat is more of an accessory than a necessary step in sun protection, losing it would have cut a deeper blow than we, at the Salamander, being city-slickers with no comprehension of the world beyond our tiny elitist bubble, could ever understand.
“No man should ever lose his hat,” he tells us firmly. “Or women, really. Or anyone, for that matter. I, uh, I really think you should make sure you print that. The thing about men and their hats.”
The Treasurer of the Traralgon Young Nationals confirmed that while those little strings that primary school hats had on them are appropriate and totally fine if you’re a young boy, perhaps no older than 11, and that it would curb wind related instances in the future.